My excuses, my doppelganger has left the building leaving me alone to paint in its stead. i write to you from the inside of the inside and as i found myself kneeling and bowing in front a my french press pressing to ease the pressure of the pm's release into am i am curious as to why i just wrote this as i danced between paint brush and pencil
"i write to you from inside a coup.
they can't fight forever.
neither can these words -
sudden warmth in winter.
a few war torn pebbles are all that remains of this memory and i find myself
a giggling.
ah, you think you're better than me.
well hopefully we'll remain to see what remains.
you are a sleeping memory"
it is only an ecstasy release. as is most of what i do. especially in these late hours in which i find myself so often. can i work more, possibly. possibly not. when am i not working. when am i not consumed by my art. when am i not so blessed. bleepin blessed. or blissed. who the hell cares.
i can't laugh anymore, my heart is full tonight. i am only yearning for yearning's sake. ok, i have to laugh because these words are ridiculously silly. can you ridicule yourself for being ridiculous...oh giggle giggle giggle glorious giggling. can anyone be so lucky as i am tonight to be so free to paint and be self employed by it. ah the madness of letting go! yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! how glorious! yahhooooo! what a leap to take. and in the middle of an economy downfall. why would i do such a thing? because i am ridiculously stubborn and i really got sick of not painting and being pissed off that anything took me away from doing what i enjoy most. in all my life actually. what the hell is the purpose of being on this planet if you can't succeed at being yourself. ha ha? ok, back to painting. and did i mention that this painting is at that point where i can either just let go and allow it to come forth or persistantly be stubborn and try to control it's birth. ha if you can find that answer, please do let me know. i know there is balance in there to be found somewhere. the balance between the letting go and the making of by cognition. mmm...is that really a thing to be found anyway. i await your response. most eagerly.
best wishes for a glorious holiday of lights.
kisses,
your friendly painter girl
lizzie
