Sunday, December 21, 2008

My doppelganger has left the building

My excuses, my doppelganger has left the building leaving me alone to paint in its stead. i write to you from the inside of the inside and as i found myself kneeling and bowing in front a my french press pressing to ease the pressure of the pm's release into am i am curious as to why i just wrote this as i danced between paint brush and pencil

"i write to you from inside a coup.
they can't fight forever.
neither can these words -
sudden warmth in winter.
a few war torn pebbles are all that remains of this memory and i find myself
a giggling.
ah, you think you're better than me.
well hopefully we'll remain to see what remains.
you are a sleeping memory"

it is only an ecstasy release. as is most of what i do. especially in these late hours in which i find myself so often. can i work more, possibly. possibly not. when am i not working. when am i not consumed by my art. when am i not so blessed. bleepin blessed. or blissed. who the hell cares.

i can't laugh anymore, my heart is full tonight. i am only yearning for yearning's sake. ok, i have to laugh because these words are ridiculously silly. can you ridicule yourself for being ridiculous...oh giggle giggle giggle glorious giggling. can anyone be so lucky as i am tonight to be so free to paint and be self employed by it. ah the madness of letting go! yahooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! how glorious! yahhooooo! what a leap to take. and in the middle of an economy downfall. why would i do such a thing? because i am ridiculously stubborn and i really got sick of not painting and being pissed off that anything took me away from doing what i enjoy most. in all my life actually. what the hell is the purpose of being on this planet if you can't succeed at being yourself. ha ha? ok, back to painting. and did i mention that this painting is at that point where i can either just let go and allow it to come forth or persistantly be stubborn and try to control it's birth. ha if you can find that answer, please do let me know. i know there is balance in there to be found somewhere. the balance between the letting go and the making of by cognition. mmm...is that really a thing to be found anyway. i await your response. most eagerly.
best wishes for a glorious holiday of lights.
kisses,
your friendly painter girl
lizzie

Monday, February 18, 2008

Oh Homey

I went to the Winslow Homer and Edward Hopper exhibit today at the Art Institute (of Chicago). It has left me feeling a little motionless in my steps. Homer's work specifically made me stop and re-examine myself as an artist. I looked at his use of sky, earth, water and LIGHT and I had to ask myself, what the hell have I been doing? Or rather what am I doing right now? I am pleased with my new pallet and the new explorations of colors I have found in and out of myself, but when I look at this great artist's work I asked myself, how seriously am i taking my own work? His work really spoke to me. I felt like I can not continue painting blindly as I am doing now. When I say, blindly, I refer to the madness of my spontaneity within my abstract work. Sure, it is expressionism and I am raw honesty; purely expressing myself to myself, but what of the conversation I could potentially have with myself if I sat down and deliberately choose the words, the language and the visual textual intonations? I have said it before, I often feel I am limited by my own visual vocabulary, but after witnessing the masterpieces of Homer, I realize that i have lazily shirked off my own responsibility to learn more. It is my responsibility to myself as an artist to realize more of myself within my work and what potential expressions can be born if i take the time to learn and explore and learn and explore.  Thank you Dear Mr. Homer.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

The hide and seek of Me


I have a new series I am working on. well truth be told, i have a new part of myself that is quietly beckoning for me to realize itself. she is red, she is orange, she is purple, she is yellow, she teases green, she is bold, she is soft, she is quietly loudly laughing behind the scenes playing hide and seek with my heart until i find her and set her free. bare with me.