Doorways

Its been a while. The spiral of activity lately had me a: not painting and b: feeling low. I was tired and even though the best antidote for all that ailed would have been painting, i simply hadn't done it. My studio was in pieces as we cleaned it all (and hid most of it away) to host shows. Well, I got it all sorted out, re-organized and ready to paint. And then another distraction...mmm..how funny. Needless to say it wasn't until last night that i got my grit into it and began painting again! And it was awesome. Brilliant! I was totally on, totally in the painting feeling the focus, not painting with my mind, but painting with my heart. It felt great. Not only that, but once in that wonderful place ideas kept coming to me and inspirations. It was actually quite emotional and liberating and emotionally liberating.

I was working on a commission for a fantastic woman who runs an artists tele-summit seminar once a year, and i was combining elements of two paintings that she liked. I had begun working on this painting weeks ago and was not quite feeling it at that time. Something inside me knew that i had to gain more experiences in my own life before I was truly able to paint this painting. And I was right. I have gone through a roller coaster of feelings, activities, work, and mental ping pong. I had to and I had to come out of those experiences with a new self born before I was able to create this work of art. Each time I create art, whether for myself, or for someone in particular, I bring all of myself to the canvas. It's like each new painting is a door to a room. A new room of myself. Each of these doors has a code and the code unlocks the door and the door opens to a new path in my life waiting to be discovered. The sum of my experiences when I approach that door is my decoder and until I have the experience necessary to open that door, i will not be able to clearly decode its lock. This is a great thing. It is as if each painting asks me, what have you learned so far and it is an ability for me to digest what i have learned thus far, purge the items within myself i no longer need and leave them at the door and take into this new room only the elements of my life that are the most exciting and joyful. I wish this was totally the case, i am still quite human and i sometimes bring along items that no longer actually serve me, but can't quite get rid of yet. Nonetheless, the door to the new me is always available. With practice one day I know I will reach that one door that I open and only only only bring the most beautiful and good with me into that room. Until then I will happily continue finding new ways to decode my own locks. Here's to painting!